Features Review

Politics in Madhopur

Raajneeti is what happens the morning after a particularly greasy, spicy, mass-produced dinner the night before.

In Madhopur, everyone struggles with constipation. This gives them one set tortured expression and husky voices.

Except for one woman who makes funny faces before, during and after sex. She wants a seat so badly that she’s willing to lick seat. Apparently she knows of nothing above seat level.

In Madhopur, the rains mean sex, and sex means pregnancy.

Communist leaders are sworn bachelors and think nothing of abandoning their lovers after a night of guilty pleasure. While women are after all, meant to be progenitors and think nothing of abandoning their political ideals for ‘lurve’.

Marriages are made in exchange for money and power, and even a rich, rich, rich father can sell his only daughter for the privilege of funding the Chief Minister. Damn happiness. It’s more rewarding to give 500 crores to the Party Fund.

If men are good looking studs, they can kill or rape and say ‘sorry’ or not say ‘sorry’ and still be loved and venerated.

If the men are not good looking, even their fathers reject them, and they go around barging into other people’s meetings, spewing smoke, which is meant to be fire. But which is alas, only smoke.

Killing your enemy is patriotism remixed. Vouched for by a background score of ‘Vande Mataram’ remixed.

If you give or receive love, you or the other party will die.

3 wise Dalits are loyal to a feudal dynasty, because after all, it consists of good looking people. Unlike the angry Dalit who is not really a Dalit but looks like one.

The one angry Dalit who is not really a Dalit, is killed, because … that is justice.

Which brings us to the conclusion that Dalits can belong to the ‘royal’ family if they remember they are servants. And that if you are good looking enough, you can say you are ‘sorry’. And go back after a murder spree to your research paper on ‘violence as a subtext of early Victorian poetry’ or some such.

Krishna meanwhile smiles through the mayhem which is cynicism disguised as serious cinema.


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